Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
