these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
