She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
