Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.

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(512): View more from Texas

Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.

Fav 19 4686 954
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(908): View more from New Jersey

i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...

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(703): View more from Virginia

All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.

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(510): View more from California

Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.

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(407): View more from Florida

Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.

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(785): View more from Kansas

You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"

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(520): View more from Arizona

You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.

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