Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
