A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
