Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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