Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
