remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
