Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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