Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
