Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
