ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
