problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
