so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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