Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
