and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
