my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
