can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
