Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
do nipples grow back?
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