Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
