They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Randomize