Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
