I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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