she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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