Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
