scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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