when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
