I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
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