This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
"it" just moved
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
