Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I deserve this hangover.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
