Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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