but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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