His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Randomize
