so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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