I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
smell my finger.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
