Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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