A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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