Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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