you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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