Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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