Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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