I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
