Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
