Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
