I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
