He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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