hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You can't just leave with hair like that
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
