My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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