I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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